This was it. The crunch match. The match England had to win.
Oli Scarrf / Getty Images
Okay, some places weren’t packed.
Village bar rammed for England game, haha.
There was SO MUCH PATRIOTISM.
I AN WEARING ALL MY RED AND WHITE CLOTHES AT THE SAME TIME. #England
Some people got religion.
We were reminded that England needed a win, and it didn’t matter if it was ugly.
"This is not a beauty contest" - SCREW YOU, COMMENTATOR. I will watch this match however I please. #WorldCup
The musical omens weren’t good.
Uruguay's anthem is mad jaunty.
Our anthem always sounds like we know we're going to lose. Especially compared to that jaunty little Uruguayan number. #flenslens
It can't help our chances that every other country has a rousing or jaunty anthem and we have such a depressing lifeless dirge.
Wayne Rooney narrowly missed a free kick…
Matthias Hangst / Getty Images
…and everybody was all like this.
ESPN
Except they weren’t all dressed as crusaders.
Liverpool teammates Steven Gerrard and Luis Suarez were getting on really well.
Joe Hart was a commanding presence in goal.
Joe Hart after a routine goalkick
It gradually became apparent that Uruguay were worryingly good at football.
Current feeling watching England... #WorldCup2014#EnglandvsUruguay #England #WorldCup2014#Worldcup #football
Important tactical questions were being asked.
ENGLAND whatchu gon do??!
Then Wayne Rooney rose majestically to… ah, shit.
Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images
Stupid crossbar.
And then… Suarez scored. Because of course.
Clive Rose / Getty Images
I mean why would you mark Luis Suarez?
And everybody was all:
Amazing Twitter reaction to Suarez goal. My thanks to@capnbobfrapples, @rickharwood, @flashboy & @jamesdeer.
People started getting… grumpy with some of the players.
Rooney heat map:
England were on the ropes. Half time couldn’t come quickly enough.
Traditional half-time piss.
The deputy prime minister weighed in with a passionate, heartfelt tweet showing what a regular guy he is. Which went well.
Nick Clegg probably thinks England can lose and still become World Champions by joining forces with Germany.
The match restarted. Wayne Rooney continued not scoring goals.
Julian Finney / Getty Images
We’re going to be honest, we’re not entirely sure what happened for the next twenty five minutes because we were watching through a haze of tears and beer.
This is painful enough to watch on Twitter. I hate to think what it's like in real life.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED. IT FINALLY HAPPENED. WAYNE ROONEY SCORED.
Matthias Hangst / Getty Images
Exactly like everybody had predicted.
Always knew ROONEY would do it
Because the nation always knew that Rooney had it in him - ahem
Always knew Rooney would score in the 75th minute
A nation dared to dream once more.
ENGLAND ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.
…And then Suarez scored again or something.
ESPN
Here’s what just happened.
And a nation went back to crying bitter salty tears.
Suarez have me like
So, yes. We lost. Again.
Roy Hodgson's all like...
Of course, there’s still hope. England aren’t technically out yet.
Mathematically England can still win if aliens abduct all the other teams. #WorldCup
We just need this to happen:
If we beat Costa Rica i want a kiss,obviously on the cheek, from the UK Queen..
But we know what to do.
Right, shall we a get hammered then?
And it’s not like we ever really cared about football anyway.
Right. Cricket it is then.
Don’t worry everybody. It’ll be okay. It’ll all be okay.
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